Tinder is hard, want some help?

We are the best Tinder bio profile writers.

My very first collaboration on Tinder included a person letting me know that he needed me to eat farm dressing off his facial hair. As of late, one of my companions got an initial message asking about her readiness to have butt-centric sex, while another companion had somebody DM her on Facebook subsequent to seeing her on Tinder—they had not coordinated or spoken—in the wake of looking through her name and the organization she works for. Obviously, these aren’t solitary encounters. There are whole Tumblr records and parody shows devoted to indexing the batshit things individuals (read: generally men) do and say on Tinder.

While I for one think we’d be generally better served by removing ourselves dating applications, I likewise like that they’re at times valuable for getting laid, looking at the new bar in your area, or you know, finding your perfect partner. So we fashion on, boats against the current, borne back endlessly into swiping avoided or directly on individuals who are either with regard to our association or potentially insane.

Worthless as the swiping game might appear, everybody’s doing it, and we are in general searching for ways of standing apart among the areas of boring, exhausting profiles. Fortunately for you, the bar for men on dating applications is genuinely underground, so you don’t need to change much with regards to your way to deal with have a major effect, and I will tell you precisely how to do it.

Establish a decent first connection, rapidly.

Each and every individual who’s been on a dating application for over two days has regretted how unreasonable the entire interaction is, as though they didn’t realize that dating favors hot individuals. Sorry! Such is the world. Dating applications expect somebody to like one photograph enough to take a gander at more photographs of you, and afterward like those five photographs enough to peruse your carefully created bio regarding how you like burritos (we as a whole do). You don’t have a lot of time or space to make the most of your initial feeling.

How this affects your photos: You really want a decent first picture. This is an altogether made up figure, however 87% of your profile is your first picture. Said picture should not be foggy; If you just have a low-res Myspace ass photograph of yourself, that is the thing that we occupied with laying down with men call a warning. I don’t know why, but rather it resembles somebody concluded that grinning, in-center photographs are unmanly. (They’re not! A remarkable inverse.) If you don’t have any great photographs of yourself as of now—this may be you!— request a companion to take one from you the following time you all Do A Thing. That can be early lunch, a companions wedding, a ball game—anything that offers a chance for great, normal lighting.

Uncommon LIMITED OFFER

Prefer GQ

1 YEAR FOR $15 $10

Buy in

What this implies for your profile: Stop putting hackneyed poop here. If you state “practice work-life balance” or “searching for my sidekick,” ladies will accept that you’re also unimaginative in all parts of your life, remembering for bed. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know any individual who is searching for an exhausting individual to get some R&R with. Utilize your profile to place an inquiry, share an abnormal reality (that isn’t sexual) about yourself, or give a thought of what your identity is and what you like to do. Something like “I watched Lion King each day of 3rd grade” is charming. “I actually need to see The Favorite; message me on the off chance that you’re down to go,” presents a conspicuous passage point for discussion. The thought is to appear to be fascinating to converse with; posting where you were conceived isn’t that.

WATCH

Specialist Breaks Down Psychopaths From Movies and TV

What this implies when you message: Do not open with anything sexual—not a dick pic, not a conversation starter, not so much as a physically adjoining praise. Try not to attempt to be astute, or excessively recognizable, e.g., “You look precisely like my next sweetheart.” Try opening with an inquiry, and negative, “wyd rn ;),” doesn’t count. Go with something fun and strange like, “Do you figure individuals should make their beds each day?” or “What’s your beloved inexpensive food burger?” You’re seeing what it resembles to spend time with you; you would rather not put on a show of being dreadful, excessively sexual, or languid.

Show up as expected as could really be expected (without being exhausting).

Men inconceivably belittle how dangerous it tends to be for ladies to cooperate with fellows they don’t have the foggiest idea, and the outcomes of that reality. (Have you all watched the Ted Bundy Netflix doc? That is to say, yowser.) Perhaps as opposed to prevalent thinking, your occupation on a dating application isn’t to stick out, yet rather to motion toward somebody that you’re not going to Buffalo Bill them. Indeed, hot is significant, however don’t belittle the force of emitting a Nice Guy With Normal Interests Who Showers sort of energy. The bar is unfamthomably low for you folks; exploit that.

How this affects your photos: You should have more than one photograph. You realize who just has one photograph of themselves? A catfish, who got that photograph off of another person’s LinkedIn. Additionally, nix the firearms and blades. Being from Missouri, I realize that firearms are “a thing” for certain men (and ladies), yet for most of individuals swiping on you it peruses as a future homicide weapon. Last, the simplest thing to do to persuade individuals that you’re a great, ordinary person is to grin in your photographs. I realize it appears to be straightforward, yet you wouldn’t believe what a small number of men do it and how viable it is at selling us on the possibility that you’re not hazardous. (Please, chronic executioners, don’t peruse this article).

What this implies for your profile: This might come as a genuine shock, yet if you put misogynist stuff in your profile, we will expect that you don’t care for ladies. One of my companions, when I got some information about what she sees on Tinder, said, “I think men fail to remember that they’re attempting to date ladies.” (Not that all men are, however you get it). On the off chance that you notice you’re searching for somebody to cook for you, or make some easy “joke” regarding how you’re searching for an arm candy spouse, or you say something savage with regards to specific ladies’ bodies, all things considered, you’ve recently distanced potential matches. All things being equal, have a go at let individuals know what you’re similar to energetically. Zero in on up-sides, rather than negatives. “I pay attention to Christmas music throughout the entire year,” or “I can help you to drive stick shift,” are extraordinary models that likewise give your kindred swipers something to message you about.

What this implies when you message: Don’t be excessively anxious to get together with a lady; assuming we’ve just informed multiple times inside the application, I’m in all likelihood not prepared to meet you up close and personal yet. Envision dating like taking care of a deer (I realize this is a strange analogy stay with me). You need to hold your hand out stay actually, allowing the deer to come to you, understanding you’re available to giving it food. What I see a great deal of men doing is pursuing a deer, tossing steaks at it, hollering, “Is there any valid reason why you won’t eat this?!? I’m attempting to take care of you!!” Slow your roll. You don’t need to be a tease by means of Tinder for quite a long time—certain individuals aren’t acceptable at informing and that is fine! After a couple of trades (focus on something like a couple “haha” messages before you bounce in to meeting up face to face), utilize a rendition of this expression: “Would you say you are free at some point this week? I’d love to take you out.”

Keep away from the jerk-goof ball polarity.

At the point when you get down to the base of the issue, most dating profile tactless act either paint the subject as either a jerk or a goof ball. Possibly you present holding a monstrous container of champagne at a club and seem like sort of a poop chute, or you post a 2006 Facebook profile image of you holding up the inclining pinnacle of Pisa with your pointer finger and you appear to be somewhat of a washout. I’m not saying this to be mean, but instead to outline the line you’re attempting to walk. In the event that you’d like to keep your photograph of you close to a Ferrari or winning fourteenth spot in a World of Warcraft contest, then, at that point, go right ahead—I won’t reject that there are tops for all pots—yet I ensure you’ll get more matches on the off chance that you head to the center of the range here.

Generally Popular

Picture might contain: Andrew Garfield, Human, Person, Clothing, Sleeve, Apparel, Suit, Overcoat, Coat, and Long Sleeve

Andrew Garfield Is Asking the Big Questions

BY SAM SCHUBE

A photo of steel watch with a dark face folded over a tan calfskin watch holder sitting on top of work area

This Legendary 1970s Sports Watch Is Back at a Crazy Affordable Price

BY JEREMY FREED

Picture might contain: Clothing, Apparel, Human, Person, Coat, Crowd, and Jacket

Michael B. Jordan and Chris Tucker Make the Case for the Chinstrap

BY THE EDITORS OF GQ

How this affects your photos: No selfies! None. Erase all selfies in your profile at this moment. What selfies—particularly when there’s mutiple—impart is, “Nobody will stay nearby me, so I’m simply the main individual who takes photographs of myself.” Which, may be valid, yet will not offer you as an individual to get to know. What would it be a good idea for you to supplant those selfies with? Pleasant, non-hazy photographs of yourself! (In the event that you don’t have these, put forth an attempt to take a few—as weak as it might feel at the time, it’ll be awesome.)

Assuming you’re an exercise center fellow and need to flaunt your abs, you persuade a single opportunity to be shirtless. One. What’s more, it should be, as my companion depicted, “fortuitous.” A photograph of you on an ocean side with companions where everybody is wearing a bathing suit? Pull out all the stops. You shirtless at the rec center? Stupid. Likewise moronic? “Entertaining” photographs, similar to the sort where every other person is grinning and you’re flicking off the picture taker. Practically all efforts to pass on that you’re entertaining through a photograph will crash and burn. Stick to being a “good times” fellow rather than amusing. Post photographs of you with gatherings of companions, or drinking a senseless tropical beverage, or playing with your niece or nephew. Goodness definitely, and vaping in any photograph is both douchey and dorky in the event that you had questions.

What this implies for your profile: Use your profile to discuss a balanced existence with shifted interests, as opposed to parading your abundance or be self-belittling. Both are painful and humiliating to peruse. Most ladies aren’t look

My first ever interaction on Tinder involved a guy telling me that he wanted me to eat ranch dressing off his beard. Recently, one of my friends received an opening message inquiring about her willingness to have anal sex, while another friend had someone DM her on Facebook after seeing her on Tinder—they had not matched or spoken—after searching her name and the company she works for. Of course, these aren’t singular experiences. There are entire Tumblr accounts and comedy shows dedicated to cataloguing the batshit things people (read: mostly men) do and say on Tinder.

While I personally think we’d all be better served by extricating ourselves entirely dating apps, I also appreciate that they’re occasionally useful for getting laid, checking out the new bar in your neighborhood, or you know, finding your soulmate. So we forge on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into swiping left or right on people who are either out of our league or possibly deranged.

Futile as the swiping game may seem, everyone’s doing it, and we’re all looking for ways to stand out among the swaths of bland, boring profiles. Luckily for you, the bar for men on dating apps is truly subterranean, so you don’t have to change much about your approach to make a big impact, and I’m going to tell you exactly how to do it.

Make a good first impression, quickly.
Everyone who’s been on a dating app for more than two days has lamented how unfair the whole process is, as if they didn’t know that dating favors hot people. Sorry! Such is the world. Dating apps require someone to like one photo enough to look at more photos of you, and then like those five photos enough to read your painstakingly-crafted bio about how you like burritos (we all do). You don’t have much time or space to make your first impression count.

What this means for your pictures: You need a good first picture. This is an entirely made up figure, but 87% of your profile is your first picture. Said picture must not be blurry; If you only have a low-res Myspace ass photo of yourself, that’s what we in the business of sleeping with men call a red flag. I’m not sure why, but it’s like someone decided that smiling, in-focus photos are unmanly. (They’re not! Quite the opposite.) If you don’t have any good photos of yourself already—this might be you!—ask a friend to take one of you the next time you guys Do A Thing. That can be brunch, a friends wedding, a baseball game—anything that offers an opportunity for good, natural lighting.

SPECIAL LIMITED OFFER
SUBSCRIBE TO GQ
1 YEAR FOR $15 $10
Subscribe
What this means for your bio: Stop putting clichéd shit here. If you write “work hard play hard” or “looking for my partner in crime,” women are going to assume you’re similarly unoriginal in all aspects of your life, including in bed. It’s boring, and I don’t know anyone who is looking for a boring person to get drinks with. Use your bio to posit a question, share a weird fact (that isn’t sexual) about yourself, or give an idea of who you are and what you like to do. Something like “I watched Lion King every day of third grade” is cute. “I still need to see The Favourite; message me if you’re down to go,” presents an obvious entry point for conversation. The idea is to seem interesting to talk to; listing where you were born is not that.

WATCH

Psychiatrist Breaks Down Psychopaths From Movies & TV

What this means when you message: Do not open with anything sexual—not a dick pic, not a pick up line, not even a sexually-adjacent compliment. Do not try to be clever, or overly familiar, e.g., “You look exactly like my next girlfriend.” Try opening with a question, and no, “wyd rn ;),” doesn’t count. Go with something fun and off-beat like, “Do you think people should make their beds every morning?” or “What’s your favorite fast food burger?” You’re previewing what it’s like to hang out with you; you don’t want to come off as creepy, overly-sexual, or lazy.

Appear as normal as possible (without being boring).
Men vastly underestimate how risky it can be for women to interact with dudes they don’t know, and the consequences of that reality. (Have y’all watched the Ted Bundy Netflix doc? I mean, yikes.) Perhaps contrary to popular belief, your job on a dating app is not to stand out, but rather to signal to someone that you’re not going to Buffalo Bill them. Yes, hot is important, but don’t underestimate the power of giving off a Nice Guy With Normal Interests Who Showers kind of vibe. The bar is unfamthomably low for you guys; take advantage of that.

What this means for your pictures: You must have more than one photo. You know who only has one photo of themselves? A catfish, who got that photo off of someone else’s LinkedIn. Also, nix the guns and knives. Being from Missouri, I know that guns are “a thing” for some men (and women), but for the majority of people swiping on you it reads as a future murder weapon. Last, the easiest thing to do to convince people that you’re a nice, normal guy is to smile in your photos. I know it seems simple, but you’d be surprised how few men do it and how effective it is at selling us on the idea that you’re not dangerous. (Please, serial killers, don’t read this article).

What this means for your bio: This may come as a real shock, but if you put sexist stuff in your bio, we’re going to assume that you don’t like women. One of my friends, when I asked about what she sees on Tinder, said, “I think men forget that they’re trying to date women.” (Not that all men are, but you get it). If you mention you’re looking for someone to cook for you, or make some facile “joke” about how you’re looking for a trophy wife, or you say something cruel about certain women’s bodies, well, you’ve just alienated potential matches. Instead, try telling people what you’re like in a playful way. Focus on positives, rather than negatives. “I listen to Christmas music all year round,” or “I can teach you to drive stick shift,” are great examples that also give your fellow swipers something to message you about.

What this means when you message: Don’t be overly eager to meet up with a woman; if we’ve only messaged 4 times within the app, I’m almost certainly not ready to meet you face-to-face yet. Imagine dating like feeding a deer (I know this is a weird metaphor stick with me). You want to hold your hand out and stay still, letting the deer come to you, realizing you’re open to giving it food. What I see a lot of men doing is running after a deer, throwing steaks at it, yelling, “Why won’t you eat this?!? I’m trying to feed you!!” Slow your roll. You don’t have to flirt via Tinder for weeks on end—some people aren’t good at messaging and that’s fine! After a few exchanges (aim for at least one or two “haha” messages before you jump in to meeting up in person), use a version of this phrase: “Are you free sometime this week? I’d love to take you out.”

Avoid the jerk-dork dichotomy.
When you get down to the root of the issue, most dating profile faux-pas either paint the subject as either a jerk or a dork. Either you pose holding a massive bottle of champagne at a club and seem like kind of an asshole, or you post a 2006 Facebook profile picture of you holding up the leaning tower of Pisa with your pointer finger and you come off as kind of a loser. I’m not saying this to be mean, but rather to illustrate the line you’re trying to walk. If you’d prefer to keep your photo of you next to a Ferrari or winning 14th place in a World of Warcraft competition, then be my guest—I will not deny that there are lids for all pots—but I guarantee you’ll get more matches if you head to the middle of the spectrum here.

Most Popular
Image may contain: Andrew Garfield, Human, Person, Clothing, Sleeve, Apparel, Suit, Overcoat, Coat, and Long Sleeve
Andrew Garfield Is Asking the Big Questions

BY SAM SCHUBE

A photograph of steel watch with a black face wrapped around a tan leather watch holder sitting on top of desk
This Legendary 1970s Sports Watch Is Back at a Crazy Affordable Price

BY JEREMY FREED

Image may contain: Clothing, Apparel, Human, Person, Coat, Crowd, and Jacket
Michael B. Jordan and Chris Tucker Make the Case for the Chinstrap

BY THE EDITORS OF GQ

What this means for your pictures: No selfies! None. Delete all selfies in your profile right now. What selfies—especially when there’s more than one—communicate is, “No one is willing to hang around me, so I’m the only person who takes photos of myself.” Which, might be true, but won’t sell you as a person to get to know. What should you replace those selfies with? Nice, non-blurry photos of yourself! (If you don’t have these, make an effort to take some—as lame as it may feel in the moment, it’ll be worth it.)

If you’re a gym guy and want to show off your abs, you get one chance to be shirtless. One. And it must be, as my friend described, “circumstantial.” A photo of you on a beach with friends where everyone is wearing a swimsuit? Go for it. You shirtless at the gym? Dumb. Also dumb? “Funny” photos, like the kind where everyone else is smiling and you’re flicking off the photographer. Almost all attempts at conveying that you’re funny via a photo will fall flat. Stick to being a “fun” guy instead of funny. Post photos of you with groups of friends, or drinking a silly tropical drink, or playing with your niece or nephew. Oh yeah, and vaping in any photo is both douchey and dorky in case you had questions.

What this means for your bio: Use your bio to communicate a rounded-out life with varied interests, rather than to flaunt your wealth or be self-deprecating. Both are excruciating and embarrassing to read. Most women aren’t looking for a guy to support them financially, and we certainly aren’t looking for someone to prop up emotionally. Put information in your bio about what you like to do—your job (just don’t use the words “grind” or “hustle” ever), your hobbies, whatever—just give an idea of who you are. Again, don’t use your bio to call out things you don’t like about women, “won’t date anyone with tattoos,” “if you don’t have a good ass swipe left, etc.” That’s douchey.

What this means when you message: Embrace flirting! You should be shooting for fun to talk to—not impressive, or scolding, or explain-y. (Jerk category). You shouldn’t be messaging anyone with a brag, humble or otherwise. Ask about what she does for work (it’s probably in her bio, so actually ask questions about that). Find something funny in one of her photos and comment on it, “oh my god that’s an amazing Halloween costume; last year I tried to get my friend to go as Kim Possible so I could be Ron Stoppable but we couldn’t find the right wig.” Whatever! If you don’t ask questions, if you don’t flirt a bit, messaging with you will feel like a chore, which I’m sure you can inuit is not hot.

Oh, and for the love of god, don’t ever describe yourself as a sapiosexual.